Tegan, Turlough, and the third wheel
by Yhoretta
Summary: Brisbane. The Doctor has just dropped off his companions as they go to collect something from Tegan's old house. However, the Doctor is not welcome to come and lets his curiosity get the better of him. Now it's up to Tegan and Turlough to teach that man to mind his own business, the only way they know how! (Twoshot)
1. Brisbane

"Here we are Tegan! Brisbane, as promised," said the Doctor, pulling the large, red switch to open the TARDIS doors.

"I sincerely doubt it," replied Tegan, leaning on the console beside him. A hurt look flashed across the Doctor's face and he opened his mouth to argue but Turlough sauntered into the room, wearing a white, short-sleeved shirt and black pants.

"You've changed," noted the Australian. Turlough did a mock spin to show off the outfit.

"I dressed for the weather," he declared.

"Then you've obviously never been to Brisbane! You'll need a lot more than short-sleeves to stave off the heat." Turlough seemed to do an impression of the Doctor, his face scrunching into a scowl.

"Come on then you, I just need to pick up something from my old home." Tegan beckoned to the ginger alien and they walked outside. The Doctor caught Tegan's chuckle.

"He did it. He _actually _did it."

Turlough waved as the doors closed behind them, leaving the sulking Time Lord alone in the TARDIS. He still didn't understand why they needed to have some time alone, and in Australia of all places when the _universe_ was theirs to explore!

His curiosity began to gnaw at his insides.

"I'll be right back old girl," promised the Doctor, opening her doors and sneaking out, hot on the trail of the two T's. He ducked behind a large, dry tree as his companions waited irritably at a traffic intersection.

"Yes Turlough, it normally _does_ take this long," snapped Tegan, tapping her slippered foot on the asphalt.

"Well, if we'd brought the Doctor along he'd probably sonic the thing."

"And break it, no doubt."

The Time Lord gently banged the back of his head against the bark of the tree as Turlough and Tegan walked across the street. The Doctor followed them, gracefully snatching someone's jacket and throwing his own at them. He slipped into the burgundy coat, which was such a contrast from his regular, cream getup that he grinned happily at the disguise. As the Doctor weaved through the crowd of people in the 9:00am traffic he lifted someone's hat and tossed his own crickety-cricket one to the disgruntled man. Now, with a floppy, brown hat over his face and a matching jacket, the Doctor was ready to follow his companions. After all, he really had nothing better to do.

The people whom he'd effectively stolen from were calling out from the other side of the crowd. Tegan and Turlough looked back, nearly catching the Doctor in their gaze as he ducked between two women. One of them kindly donated her featherlight, fashionable scarf. She scribbled something down on a piece of paper and winked at him. He smiled and continued forward, pocketing the phone number.

"Alright this is it, my old house from when I was little. I'm sure the current owners wouldn't have thrown it away," said Tegan, knocking on the oakwood door of a large, victorian-esque house. The Doctor peaked over the rather uncomfortable hedges that surrounded the road, only a few feet away. He strained his superior hearing to catch their conversation over the roar of the cars.

"You know the Doctor's following us, right?" hissed Turlough.

"Well 'course I do. I'm no fool. After we get what we came for we should take this opportunity to mess with him. Teach that man to reign in his curiosity," whispered Tegan. The ginger alien nodded. Across the street, the Doctor sighed irritably, not being able to catch a word. As the amount of cars died down a little he sneaked across while a plump, cheery woman let Tegan and Turlough inside.

"Ah, Miss Jovanka! How nice to see you again, how long has it been?"

"I can't remember myself to be honest," replied Tegan. "This is Turlough by the way. We've come to collect something that I left behind when I moved. Would it be alright if we just had a look around Mrs Haverly?"

"Of course, of course!" exclaimed the woman, closing the door behind them.

The Doctor grumbled.

Tegan pushed aside dusty boxes filled with left-behind relics and heirlooms. Her family had left anything and everything unwanted behind for the new owners to do with as they pleased. Luckily Mrs Haverly and her husband were not the kind of people who threw things away. They always found a use for everything, just like the Doctor in his own insufferable but endearing way. 

"Is this it?" asked Turlough from the other side of the dark attic. He shuffled over on his knees, carrying a heavy-looking plastic container. It was filled to the brim with pieces of wood and screws.

"My old easel! Thanks!" Tegan took the container from him and set it between them, running her hands fondly over the dismantled possession.

"I still don't see why we couldn't just get you a new easel, or at least one from the TARDIS," said Turlough.

"Well it's simple. Of all the things I left behind, this was _not_ supposed to be one of them. It was taken apart for the move but I've always missed it. Now I can draw properly."

"And the Doctor's exclusion?"

"Simple also, have you seen him_ ever_ be careful? He'd find a way to blow it up or something."

Turlough chuckled.

"We still could've told him what we were up to."

"I don't know, maybe. I suppose I just sort of wanted a break from the ship and the adventures and the aliens."

"I'm an alien, to you..."

"Yea, but the Doctor said I should give you a chance. So here we are."

Turlough chuckled again, reaching into the container, just to have his hand slapped away by Tegan. They flew down the stairs and said a cheery goodbye to Mrs Haverly.

"The Doctor's still following us," noted Turlough, barely audible as they walked briskly from the house.

"He's just upset that I keep questioning his navigation skills," replied Tegan, "or lack thereof!" She turned to the disguised Doctor just as he ducked behind a parked car.

"If he's trying to ruin our day, I think it's more than fair if we have a little fun with him. What do you say?"

Turlough winked conspiratorially.

"I'm in."


	2. Pucker up

"I know what will really make him squirm," said Tegan, stirring her coffee thoughtfully. Turlough sat across from her outside the little shop and the Doctor had his face in a newspaper on the opposite end.

"What is it?" asked Turlough, kicking the easel container absentmindedly.

"You're not going to like this. Come to think of it, neither am I." Tegan leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. It was a rushed kiss, no tongue, no feeling, but it was enough to make the Doctor's eyes widen to the size of dinner plates in disbelief. He pulled the newspaper back over his face but Tegan had caught his reaction from her peripheral vision.

Turlough lifted his hands to wipe the unwelcome taste of _human _from his mouth but Tegan forced his hand down, hard, and stroked it as if they were on a date.

"He's watching." She wrote the words with her finger in the dust of the table and hastily rubbed it out as a mischievous look lit Turlough's face.

"Oh Tegan, I'm so glaaaad we could have this time alone. I've been wanting to get closer to you for soooo long," proclaimed the ginger alien, dramatically. Tegan rolled her eyes but forced a smile and ordered another coffee.

"Sir," chirped one of the waitresses. She beamed down at the Doctor who was re-reading the sports passage of the newspaper for the umpteenth time. He looked up at the young, blonde woman.

"Yes?" he asked.

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you don't intend to buy anything." The Doctor grumbled and searched through his pockets, finding an empty wallet, a bus ticket and a stick of gum.

"Err..." The Doctor fumbled for an excuse. He sighed as the waitress directed him to the door.

"There he goes," whispered Turlough, averting his gaze as the Doctor pulled his coat up over his face and walked out disdainfully.

Tegan released Turlough's hand in relief and picked up her dismantled easel, forgetting about the coffee.

"Come on then, we can't let him go that easily," she asserted, quickly catching up to the Doctor with Turlough trailing behind. Their Time Lord pulled his hat far over his face and continued forward casually. Turlough just couldn't take it. He opened his mouth. Tegan, of course, quickly closed it for him with a glare.

"So, Turlough, perhaps we should be getting back to the TARDIS," suggested the Australian, glancing pointedly at the Doctor, who kept walking silently.

"Alright, 'so long as we never tell him what went on today, that must be our little secret," mused Turlough, catching on.

The Doctor picked up his pace, practically running back to his ship. Tegan and Turlough burst into giggles. Now it was time to come full circle. Back in the TARDIS, Tegan put down her dismantled easel and said a cheery 'hello' to the Doctor. He was missing his coat and hat.

_I wonder why_, thought Turlough sarcastically.

"Thanks for 'waiting' Doctor, we're ready to go now," said Tegan, throwing a wistful look to Turlough, he returned it with what was probably supposed to be a sexy face, but ended up looking like he was heavily constipated.

"Okay seriously, what is going on with you two!" asked the Doctor, looking between them. "Only yesterday I had to pretty much _beg_ you to spend some time with each other. And now you're holding hands and kissing in cafes and..." He stopped, realising he'd said too much.

Tegan smiled triumphantly.

"We knew you were following us," she revealed. "You really don't give us enough credit."

"It was all a facade," continued Turlough. "A particularly horrid one."

If looks could kill, Tegan would have been a mass murderer.

"I'm...I'm sorry I 'accompanied' you two. I was just curious...and bored," admitted the Doctor.

"Quite right, the fact that you managed to get us to Brisbane alone was amazing, I wasn't surprised that you couldn't take off again!"

The Doctor's eyes set in determination. He began spinning around the TARDIS console as if he were doing some sort of wardance around a roaring fire, rapidly pressing buttons and pulling switches. Tegan turned to Turlough and winked at him. The ginger alien grinned wildly at her, something he didn't do often. As the Doctor promised his companions a trip to the leisure planet of O'Phara, Turlough found himself feeling a little more comfortable around Tegan, more at ease with her. Although it had all been a ruse, he would have done it again.

Even if it was just to teach a certain Time Lord not to be nosy!


End file.
